Book Title: A Waist Is a Terrible Thing to Mind
Author: Karen Scalf Linamen
Number of Pages: 194
Price: 11 USD (I got mine on sale for about 4 USD)
Soo straight to it! I won’t lie and say this book is not one of the most amazing I’ve read in a long time. If you want to turn your back on the lies that society has told you – that you’re not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, chubby enough. successful enough- then this is the book to read.
It is exactly what it says on the cover; it tells you why ‘a waist is a terrible thing to mind’ (‘a waist’ here being whatever it is that society tells you is not good enough about you). I’ve obviously read other books about accepting your body blah blah blah but for some reason this particular one has my heart. Karen’s writing is so interactive and borderline humourous. At some point I was totally convinced that she writes like me (Haha! Thank you, let me deceive myself please). However, despite how funny and warm the book is, it still lays down common-sense and practical tools to make changes in your life.
I wanted to title this review: NA FAT I FAT I NO KILL PERSON because it’s a realization I was able to come to after reading this book. On the cover it says: Loving Your Body, Accepting Yourself, and Living Without Regret and these are changes you would begin to make from the very moment you pick up this book.
If like me, you have struggled with body image or dieting to lose weight or add weight (or maybe even other radical ways to change the way you look) you would realize from the very first chapter that this book is more about making peace with your body first before going on your change journey. You need to be confident about yourself and your body in order to get it to work for you.
The book also talks extensively about getting started and gives excellent tips to make that happen. If you usually have trouble getting started with stuff, them you should read this book. I particularly like how she emphasized that it is small changes that lead to larger ones. I have always been the type to just jump into things expecting to change my whole life overnight. Of course, it almost always leads to a relapse. Basically, the book covers making peace with small changes, making peace with your opinion of yourself, making peace with habitual behaviours, making peace with food, your emotions, your idea of beautiful, your metabolism, your cravings, your story and your life in general. It covers making peace with YOURSELF!
What I love the most about this book is the activity page at the end of each chapter titled “GET A NEW BODITUDE”.
These pages are filled with questions I would never ask myself on a normal day. They really helped me to think deep and answer those questions as truthfully as possible. I also really like how informal the book is while still laying down steps to achieve your goals. I totally agree with the point of view of making peace with your body first before going ahead to make changes.
Personally, I think the book is almost everything you would want in a book like this. It has helpful and practical tips and not just utopic ideas that other books like this give you (as if everything is so easy).
If you think you’re not pretty enough or not thin enough or not fat enough or not busty enough or too flat, or not successful enough, then you absolutely need to read this book. Heck even if you don’t have any of these insecurities, you still should read this book. You would definitely embrace seeing yourself in the light of God’s eyes for a long long time.
I wish I could tell you every single thing inside the book but you’d need to read it to know it.
You can get a copy here https://www.amazon.com/Waist-Terrible-Thing-Mind-Accepting/dp/1400074010
Thanks for reading my review.
If you’ve read the book or any similar book, (or even if you’ve not) let’s share in the comments section. What do you think of Karen’s view that you must first love your body and yourself before you can work it to make changes for you? Waiting to hear from you.
Your tiny eyed storyteller.
CHANGING MY BED – A GOODBYE LETTER. In a couple of weeks, I’d be changing my bed because I’ve been using it for a while now and it has gotten a lot less firmer than it used to be. So here’s to my (soon-to-be-former) bed for staying with me through thick and thin.
I’m with you right now but still writing to you. How weird is that?
Anyways, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for always being there and literally never leaving. You have been my support system (in the exact sense of the phrase) and you’re ever present when I need a friend to sink onto and cry on.
And when I need to sleep? You’re the ultimate G.O.A.T. I could hardly ever have as a good a sleep anywhere else as I do with you. Every day, I just up and leave you but you never get angry. You’re just there waiting for me with open arms when I come back at night. You cuddle me and you soothe my back. You’re there on the cold and rainy nights when I just need to snuggle up.
You never judge me. Not for the numerous lazy days where I just don’t want to get up. Actually, you pull me closer and whisper that it’s okay to take just five more minutes. You really never judge me. Not for all the pillow talk and romantic phone calls you witness. When I get my heart broken, you’re still there to comfort me and cuddle me while I bawl my eyes out.
You keep my secrets. Secrets of spills and splashes and some other secrets under you. Remember that day I had to arrange the room, and I stuffed everything under you. You never told. You’re awesome like that.
I heard I used to hate coming to you when I was little. I apologize for that. I was young and stupid. That’s the only explanation. Because you always have been amazing.
It hurts that I have to leave you now. But don’t worry, I’ll be in good hands. They say you’re not firm enough anymore. That you have tried for me. They say you’ll be shipped off to make someone else happy. It’s okay. Making people happy is what makes you happy. Another of your friends would be brought here to keep making me happy. I hope I like her. I hope she’s non-judgmental like you. I hope she has all the warmth and coziness that you have. I hope she can keep secrets like you Lucy. But I know, that no other bed can be like you. Stay safe.
Your lifetime friend,
You reading! Lucy has a last wish. That you subscribe to my blog after reading this. I’m serious. She said that😂😂
Who else has ever developed sentimental connection with an inanimate object? 🙋🙋🙋🙋. I’m really going to miss my bed😥. Lemme just go to sleep now. Cherishing the final moments 🤷😁.
Thanks for reading 😁. Pay your last respects in the comments section 😥.
Much love 😍
Your tinyeyed storyteller.
Imagine this scenario and DO NOT LIE! I’m serious. Imagine it. You are at your place of work. Let’s assume you’re the front desk person or wait, no. You’re a management staff. You just happened to be at the reception to pick up something. The receptionist is not present at the moment.
A bad ass car pulls up in front of the office. It’s a glass door so you can see as the occupant steps out of the car. The first thing you notice are the shoes. Perfect 4-inch silver stilettos. Now look up and see the full outfit. Damnnn that gown looks good on her. But isn’t it too much? You’re thinking “Shey this one is going to party ni?”
She removes her shades, flips her hair and now you see the face. “Ugh! See make up!!! Is it her wedding?” She is even so young. Can’t be more than 21. While you are still assessing, she walks into the office. Her poise is A1.
Now she walks up to you.
“Excuse me, please I’m looking for….”
You don’t hear the rest of what she’s saying. You’re too distracted by her “oyinbo” accent. Who is she forming for abeg?
“Sorry what did you say?”
Don’t worry. She’ll repeat it.
“I said I’m looking for Jules.”
“Err..there is no Jules in this office.”
“But he asked me to come here”
“There is no Jules here”
“Wow! Thanks. Let me call him.”
She brings out her iphone X and now you can’t take it anymore.
“See I’m not the front desk person. When he comes, he’ll attend to you.”
And with that, you walk back off. Riding into the sunset of your office. O r the sunset of your ignorance thinking “Who is this one sef?” or “Who does this one think she is?” or “Mtchew…forming nonsense” or “Awon runs girls oshi”. Haha maybe you’re not thinking any of this, but you’re actually thinking something close. Don’t lie. Don’t lie. Let it out. Good!
Congratulations. You are a true Nigerian, which begs the question: WHY DO NIGERIANS HATE CONFIDENT PEOPLE? Or more importantly, what do we have against people who are confident, expressive, assertive or rich (in terms of material wealth)?
Let’s shake this table.
But note that these are EXCLUSIVELY my thoughts. I do not in any way represent millions of Nigerians who do or do not fall into the category I’m addressing.
I honestly think most Nigerians don’t exactly hate confident, rich or assertive people. What they hate is pride/arrogance, which is more often than not, perceived alongside these three. Most people are however unable to distinguish so it just ticks their brain as arrogance and they react as such.
Till now, some people are of the mentality that one cannot be wealthy, in terms of money, and still be humble. A twitter user once said that for a pastor to have so much material wealth, then he does not mirror the humility that Christ showed us. Hell oh hell!
The point is that sometimes people just assume a person’s character from what they look, dress or talk like. You sometimes need to look a little deeper before reacting the way your brain feels about someone. If the person has not wronged you in any way or knowingly spoken to you condescendingly then don’t judge immediately. Time is a true judge of character and it’ll tell.
Next, I think a major issue stems from societal and cultural expectations. We have been groomed to consciously or subconsciously expect certain things from people. We expect them to dress a certain way, to have certain values, to talk a certain way and on and on like that. We basically have expectations of how people should present themselves and if they do anything even slightly off the chart of our expectation, something inside us ticks. It just ticks.
Next time you meet that person wearing ‘too much makeup’ or wearing party dress on a normal day ask yourself “Is it my party dress?????? Or am I just expecting her to dress the way I would dress?” “Is he really annoying or is his confidence just intimidating?”
Ohhh then there are the people who just lack self- confidence or maybe not so well-to-do. Seeing what they do not have being mirrored in others just irks them because jealousy really is a bitch. I have no advice for this clan really. Stay less jealous. Build your confidence. Grind and hustle. But honestly, if this is you when you don’t have money, nothing would change when you do because there’ll always be people wealthier than you. Just accept the ultimate wealth of salvation and change your attitude towards life.
Finally, I would talk about the category I used to fall in. It used to annoy me when people talk about some of their accomplishments especially in situations that I didn’t think it was necessary. In my mind, I called it bragging. Unnecessary, mouthless bragging. But then I learnt:
- It is not MY accomplishment. Who am I to dictate when they can or cannot talk about it? Really who am I to say when they should or should not be proud of their doings?
- It is not ALWAYS pride. Most times, these are things that people worked hard for and they would of course want to share at every opportunity they get.
- It is continual motivation for other people who want to achieve same.
- They might be trying to sell themselves with those accomplishments or a host of other reasons.
Basically, I have just learnt not to judge people. You can never tell what is going on in their minds except they tell you or express it. If they don’t express it, don’t assume.
In conclusion, material wealth does not equal pride. Confidence does not equal arrogance. Presenting oneself with proper poise and speaking good English does not equal forming. No one is obligated to fit into the the subconscious box you have created for them.
With these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince you that while it seems like Nigerians hate confident people, it really is not their true intention (at least, for most people). They just need to distinguish some characteristics from character, judge less and let go of societal expectations. I said my piece! Peaceee outtttt!!!!
Heyyyyy wait! What are your thoughts? Comments section Plixxx😘😘😘
Your tiny eyed story teller.
Nothing in life is absolutely free. Familiar huh? Well, it wasn’t to me. Not at the time. The year was 2004 and my age was 6. It was that time when pet bottles were not common. Soft drinks were more common in glass bottles with covers that we usually gathered and used as counters then. The bottles would have to be returned to where you bought them from.
When soft drink companies ran promotions back then, they would print it inside the cover and cover it with some white rubber thingy. I remember because my friends and I would go around picking these counters, especially after a big party and competing to see who could pick the most. Afterwards, we would start peeling off the rubber thingy to see if we had won from any of our counters. It was usually a waste of time anyways because it would almost always say “TRY AGAIN”.
The chances of winning anything were like one in a million and we sure as hell didn’t have up to a million counters. So, you can imagine my excitement when I peeled open that Sprite bottle counter and it said “YOU HAVE WON ONE FREE DRINK!” I blinked to be sure I was not hallucinating and I looked again. It was real. I won something!
I was so excited and my friends were for me too. I asked them how I would get the drink and they told me to just go to any shop that sells that drink. In hindsight, I probably should have asked an adult instead of asking my friends who probably did not know any more than I did.
It was during the holiday and we had to go for summer lessons and so the next day, before leaving home for lesson, I armed myself with a plastic bottle. After lesson was over, I headed straight to the shop I knew that sold Sprite.
The shop was owned by an old lady. I greeted her and told her I want to buy Sprite. Yes! That is what I said. “I wAnT tO bUy SpRiTe!!!!!!” I wonder what came over me. Why did I say I want to buy sprite? I could have just said I wanted to redeem my prize but no! I had to just be young and stupid. Anyways, she went in and came back with a bottle of sprite. I asked her to open it and she did. I then emptied it into my plastic bottle.
Now this is where the drama begins. She then asks for her money and 6-year-old me presents her with a counter. A COUNTER guyssss! A counter that read “YOU HAVE WON ONE FREE DRINK!” I can never forget the look in her eyes. It was like disbelief + rage + confusion and so many other things but not laughter. No iota of laughter. Nothing about it was funny to her.
Honestly, when I think about it, I feel like if it were me, I would have at least laughed over the stupidity of a child and maybe even paid for it. I meannnn…I was a childddddd. But of course, people are different. Just saying what I would have done. This lady began to yell at me talmabout “Do I look like a redemption centre? You better get me my money!” Bear in mind guys, that a bottle of Sprite cost 35 naira back then. I didn’t have that kind of money. I only got 5 naira each day to take to lesson and those were even lucky days. I couldn’t return the drink of course because I already emptied it into my bottle. I just calmly told her that I would be back with her money and I turned my back to leave. Note that, I DID NOT HAVE HER MONEY!
As I was leaving, she called me back. My little mind prayed she was about to say “Don’t worry about it, but next time don’t do that.” But instead she said “You better come back with my money soon. I know your house and if you don’t bring it, I will come and collect it.” My little heart sunk and as I walked home, I started to cry. I began to calculate which of my clothes I could sell for 35 naira. (I wonder where I was going to sell it). Just then, I opened my hand and saw that I was holding the cover from the drink she opened. For some reason, I peeled it open and guess what? “YOU HAVE WON A FREE DRINK!” I could curse them at that moment. I just threw it away and continued crying.
Then, I remembered my Sprite, which I hadn’t paid for. I brought it out, started drinking it, and still crying. I can only imagine how funny a sight that must have been. I wonder what was going on in my head. When I got to my gate, I wiped my tears because I knew my family must not know what I had done. I finished my drink, threw away the bottle and went in.
Everybody knew something was wrong. I was a very outspoken and playful kid so they were concerned that I was being so quiet. I knew I had to be my normal self if I wanted to them to stop suspecting. I tried to play but I couldn’t. I was owing a whole 35 naira. So, I went to my room and pretended to sleep. At least they won’t expect me to play if I’m sleeping.
And that was when I heard the knock on the gate. THE KNOCK OF DOOM! My heart started to pound even louder than before. I was afraid they would hear it pounding from the sitting room. My chest tightened as if it wanted to explode and my throat felt like I was being choked. I waited to hear my name being called. A minute passed, Nothing. Turns out it was just one of my sister’s friends.
But that was the beginning of the cycle. Every single knock had me feeling like I was going to die. Sometimes, I went out (or more like tiptoed) to see who it was. Sometimes, I couldn’t bring myself to get up.
Finally, it was night. Dinner time. And she hadn’t come. I started to think, “Maybe she won’t come after all.” We were all eating when I heard the knock. I think my face went pale immediately. My sister went to get the door and I was just there, ready to die.
Nope, that wasn’t her either. It was our electrician. But I guess I couldn’t take it anymore. Somebody asked what was wrong with me again and I just burst into tears. I started to cry so seriously they were all worried. Finally, I was calm enough to tell the story. I narrated everything that happened. I was ready to be scolded. Instead, everybody just started laughing. They laughed so much that I started laughing too. They promised to give me the money the next day and my joy was full. For the first time since the incident, I felt my heart lighten. I went to bed the normal, happy kid that I used to be.
I went to give the old lady her money the next day and she gave me that killer look again. I never bought anything at her shop after that day and my whole family kept calling me “Free Drink” for a while. But at least, I was grateful I didn’t have to sell my clothes. And by the way, I learnt my lesson. Nothing in life is absolutely free. Well, except salvation, oxygen, and all those things that come from God. So yeah, cherish those things that are free. Open your heart to the love of God and accept the new free life that He has given you. Peace out!
P.S. If you know me personally and you ever call me “free drink” because of this story, I will kill you. Lol jk!
Thank you for reading guys. Comment below…What should I have done differently? What should the shop owner have done differently? What do you think about my story?
Your tiny eyed storyteller.
Heyy, don’t go yet! Subscribe to my blog where it says follow blog via email. Yup! Thank you! Do that, then you can go😂😂😂